The thing about the chaos of healing is how tricky it is. It masquerades as real stuff.  I think of myself as pretty savvy and sophisticated when it comes to the crisis of “healing”, “growing”,  learning”, whatever word you want to use to describe that really uncomfortable and painful jump into the unknown of being a better person.  So I was pretty surprised when after four days of looking at the facts and considering all aspects …..”I got nuthin”.   “Maybe this time all the ground clutter is real?!”  That aforementioned thought led me to reconsider some of my core beliefs.  Maybe I needed to change some things…..  

Lucy led me to animal communication when I had never heard of it and was at best very skeptical.  I called a woman I had heard about at work after exhausting all other options to deal with a health issue Lucy had.   This woman was an animal communicator.  I was only on the phone minutes when I knew she was talking to Lucy.  That conversation opened me up to a new depth of love for all of my animals.  That avenue led me to taking the communication class that opened my heart.  That was almost exactly 10 years ago.

Hi there, remember me?  I’m the one who was so relieved I didn’t have to run a marathon.  What a relief, I really didn’t like running anyway.  While celebrating that I was released from that commitment I decided that it would be a good idea to continue with some exercise.  Yoga was a good fit for me.
Do you think you are always aware when you are plugged into source at that precise moment?  I think I would have said yes before.  Now is a different story. 

I’m retired as of last May.   I have the opportunity to go forth in the world and do whatever I want whenever I want.  I’ve been having a ball with that.  One thing I signed up for last week brought up a bunch of long forgotten insecurities and led me to struggle with a decision I made.  That feels….well, crappy. 

The next day however was the opposite.  I felt light and flowed with it.   Just loving the feeling, I put on my iPod and went out to mow the grass.

Bodies-- can’t live with them, can’t shed them like a snake skin and still get around.

Almost a year ago I got the idea I wanted to run a marathon.  I wasn’t a runner, I wasn’t in shape, but that wasn’t going into my equation.  I decided I would run and finish a marathon. 

I have had friends that are runners for years.  I would go to races to support them and got all choked up watching someone cross the finish line.  I could see their focus and determination and I wanted to feel that.  So I decided now that I’m retired and have more time (?? Really, more time? That’s the way it should, be just doesn’t play out that way.), I will get in shape and run and finish a MARATHON.