Early on many of us begin our search in earnest for that perfect "soulmate" relationship. Few succeed in this endeavor. So they settle for a lukewarm, yet semi-secure association with another.
Many people walk around in quiet desperation while investing years of their life in futile attempts to change their partner into their vision of the "ideal mate". The kindred spirit remains elusive to them. I have yet to meet anyone that successfully created that kind of change in another. After the experiences of disappontments from betrayal, unrequited love, or one too many verbal putdowns, one is likely to give up all fruition of happiness in relationships.